the friends you lose…
July 14, 2006
catesbool
the only friends you lose are the one that you leave out from your heart. physical distance may separate you from friends or you may not see each other or talk to each other for a long time but if in your heart, you find that you still keep them as your friend and they do the same to you, then you continue to be friends.
a friend once asked me if a friendship can survive even after years of separation. i said yes and he said no. little did we know that a year after we had that conversation, he would go off to australia in pursuit of higher learning while i got left behind in the philippines to pursue my own life.
when he left, i let go of him in my heart coz when we said goodbye to each other on the phone, the conversation was almost unbearably polite and he was indirectly telling me to fuck off from his life. i had managed to get on with my life for a year and i know he got on with his. but then, somehow, he managed to find me again by the simple device known as email.
we exchanged communications and tried to catch up with what happened with our lives. we sensed the changes in ourselves yet somehow, the warmth was still there. even across the miles (me in the philippines and he was still in australia), we knew and felt that in spite of the long silence and the way we parted, we were still friends who are comfortable enough with each other to see beyond our thoughts.
he came back. i was still there, yet changed in very different ways like he was. we met for lunch and when we saw each other again, we did not need any exchange of hugs or polite kisses on the cheeks to know that the friendship we had never went away. we both knew each other enough to read our thoughts and feel the warmth even beyond what time and space did to us. we were both glad for each other, as we both knew we never lost each other in our hearts. and so, until now, we remain good friends, albeit our situation has been reversed.
he reaches out to me without me needing to call on him. i think of him when i am at my lowest point and i could not seem to find anyone who can spell out my life for me. and somehow, he calls and says some things that by accident or some unexplained thing, are the very ones that are bothering me.
i don’t know if i am doing the same thing for him but he knows i am also there. he calls me when he needs a perspective different from him although i don’t know how i manage to help him when i know he is better at making sense out of things and out of life.
i can count the number of times i have seen and talked with him during the past two years with my fingers. but it is never in the constantness of our interaction with each other that makes us friends. it is never in the physical distance between us that we feel the warmth of our friendship. and it is never the length of time that we spend in each other’s company that we sustain our friendship.
it is both in our hearts that we find each other as friends. physical distance has separated us. but we never lost each other. we kept each other in our hearts. and so, we remain as friends till now…
bunso, it might feel as if you’ve lost us… and somewhere between six months, we might get busy and not be able to communicate as often as we want or as we should. but the friends you lose, you lose them only when you lose them in your heart…
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1. Ristje | July 14, 2006 at 11:12 am
sabi na you will correct me on this, dapat nakipagputstahan ako…