looking for my muse

October 13, 2006 catesbool

friday.

beautiful day.  sun is up.  weather is 9 degrees or so dina tells me.  it looks warm outside.  i see two people passing by wearing only t-shirts.  at least, i see a paradox there in the weather.

me, i’m just as paradoxical as the weather.  i know i need to work.  hey, it’s the weekend but i have an appointment with my supervisor on monday so i had better show him something.

problem is, i can write junks of blogs but i have no inspiration to work on my paper again.  the muse has abandoned me and i am a sitting duck of laziness in this room playing super collapse.

then as i play, it hits me.  i need my inspiration.  i need someone to inspire me to do the things i need to do. anything or anyone that can make me come out of my hellhole.  anything that can pull me out of my state of wretchedness.

right now, i am beginning to hate myself again for feeling so inadequate.   i feel like i’m a big mass of inabilities that i cannot focus.  i do know that i have just these mass of ideas that i cannot simply channel out the way i want to.

the inspiration to do things…

to stumble upon it is a great gift. to lose it can turn into a tragedy.  to channel it properly is a great work indeed.

i need a shower.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Polin  |  October 23, 2006 at 8:01 pm

    muse? how about “fuck, i’m going home with a certificate of appreciation if i dont finish this damn thing!” hahaha. wabyu cates!

  • 2. Polin  |  October 23, 2006 at 8:02 pm

    certificate of participation pala.

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