the restlessness in my heart

February 12, 2007 catesbool

i have become listless…

it’s 5:38 p.m.  i’m still at the office and i am thinking of the things i still need to do at work.  but my mind is as restless as the day i left the netherlands.

mijn houten hart plays loudly within the dark empty walls of my office.  a reminder of a night i once spent in den haag centrum, standing out in the cold with friends as we listen to van dik hout performing before hundreds of tall dutch men, their breaths smelling of alcohol flowing freely in celebration of the queen’s day.

maybe, there is no rest for my restlessness.  the constriction of living in manila after more than one year of breathing in fresh air kills my spirit.  but i have no place else to go.

not yet, not yet…

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