Dilemma
June 5, 2008
catesbool
I should be relieved, overjoyed, excited, ecstatic, high.
Hah! Don’t I wish. 
Just got word today. I can enroll as an irregular Senior at San Beda College. Wasn’t this what I have been waiting for in the past six (or maybe seven) years of my life?
I want to cry.
I’m not ready.
I’m unsure.
I’m uncertain.
I’m no longer confident.
I no longer see myself driven by a desire to beat the grades of Orly in the Bar Exams.
Hah! It would take a miracle if I even get to pass my fourth year subjects this coming school year. I’m going overload.
I want to scream…
I want to run away…
I AM SO SCARED.
I’m so scared that I’ll never be put back together, keep breaking me in… (Matchbox 20, _______)
I barely have a week to mentally prepare myself for the reality of being a Senior.
How do I balance academic overload with work overload?
I’m trying not to slap myself to see if I am living out a nightmare.
Breathe…
Breathe…
Breathe…
Pray.
Meditate…
labora, deveneror, cognitio
May God have mercy on me and grant me sanity…
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