Mommy and Mama

My mother was one of the busiest Moms during her day.  She was very dedicated to her job as a public school teacher, sometimes it even eats up her Saturdays and Sundays and even night time supposed to be spent with us.  But we never complained.  Mommy was complemented by Mama, her eldest sister who took very good care of us we thought at one time she was our real mother.

Having two women around the house to take care of us felt almost like heaven.  Mommy makes sure that the fridge is always full (and locked too because I keep sneaking a peek to see what I can feed my always hungry belly).  Mama, on the other hand, patiently prepares our daily meals.  As a result, we grew up in a household of glorious food, a legacy which my brother and sisters have kept up with all those years, even with Mommy gone.

Saturdays and Sundays are always the best time of the week.  This is the time when Mommy cooks a combination of Italian, Spanish, Ilocano and Tagalog dishes.  The motto in the Bool household was, money may run out at some point but good food can never run out.  Mommy was brilliant at turning simple dishes into heavenly delights.  Friends who come over for visit at some point will remark on the food we have.  And Christmas and special occasions are always marked with people commenting on the food both Mommy and Mama can whip up all in good time.

My two sisters inherited the knack more than I did.  These days, Christmas and birthdays and whatever special occasions are spent in Las Pinas with them doing all the cooking.  I just bring something which they no longer have the time to prepare.  And mind you, between the three of us, I’m still considered the worst cook.  They still laugh at some of my cooking, including my father who I haven’t quite forgiven yet because he thought frying siomai was silly (and I was vindicated because you now see fried siomai all over Mini Stop).

I miss Mommy and Mama’s cooking.  There is always that secret ingredient they put in when they cook.  My two Ates, they both learned about that secret ingredient earlier than I did.  So the years of practice probably made them better cooks. 

Give or take a few more years, my Ates and I will be able to pass on the legacy to our kids.  Over the years, we have discovered a few new ingredient to add, a new spice to use, and a new twist to old dishes that seem to have worked on our taste.

My fear now is for my daughter.  Very early in life, she knows what high quality, good food means.  Something which is not an exclusive result of the good food she eats from my side of the family.  Her fairy (ei, fairy daw oh) godmother, Myra, spoils her so.  Brianne is often kidnapped by Myra and taken to some fine restos around Ortigas and Makati area and I only learn about that when she is all full and happy to chat with me.  And she can appreciate good food by simply sniffing the air.

I try to keep her grounded, though.  Simple cooking at home on weekends has its own magic.  She never fails to tell me whenever I cook on weekends how much she loves those simple dishes I can whip up. 

Perhaps, Mommy and Mama were both right.  Cooking is all about love.  Cooking is all about patience.  And cooking is all about letting your love ones feel how much you feel for them.

Tonight’s recipe is sinigang, a simple Filipino dish taught to me by Mommy and Mama when I was in fifth grade.  I am going away again to Magat next week.  I have no worries about Brianne and Edwin missing me.  My fridge is very well stocked (I’m running out of food space again, I need a bigger one).  I spent the afternoon marinating chicken and pork, again with ingredients passed down by Mommy and Mama, with Ate Joy’s twist.  When I come back from the trip, I will make it up to them by cooking Mommy’s Pochero, which Brianne now calls “Mommy’s Beef cooked with love”.  This is a simple dish I learned from Ate Dulce, with my own twist: meeting Mommy’s Spanish version with my mother-in-law’s Bicolano version and harmonizing them as my own.  It will take me three hours of slow cooking fire to prepare it.  But as Mommy and Mama always said, you can’t hurry up good food.

(A special thanks to my friend Mon Soliva, who sent over a poem for some of my critiquing.  The list of food in his poem menu made me want to whip up something different again for Brianne.)

Add comment March 14, 2009

saturday with the yayas

on the way…

nearly 11:00 am.  i jumped inside the first taxi i hailed and told him to take me to edsa shang.  i knew the yaya’s propensity to be late but i didn’t want to be that late.  i also know how horrible the traffic is along shaw boulevard on a saturday, and a pay day at that.

the traffic was moving, thankfully.  it only took me two red lights before i jumped out and briskly walked inside the mall.  even before i got to the door, i was already signaling to the lady guard to hold off her “bomb sensor”.  the woman didn’t understand what i was telling her and just shoved the instrument out to me.  i had to push it back away and tell her rather sharply not to.  then i unzipped my backpack to let her take a peek inside.  that was how she understood my meaning.  but she gave me a sharp look of annoyance anyway.  i gave her one of my best freezing stares to shut her up.

i ran all the way to the fifth floor of the mall and quickly went out to the mrt station.  there was a long line and i stood at the end.  i was standing there for three minutes already when i saw that the line i was standing on was actually for buying tickets.  i could have kicked myself.  i have already pre-paid ticket to the tram (they call it a train but agh).

i shoved the ticket in and went downstairs to wait for the next tram.  all the while, i was shoving the earphones of my mp4 between my ears.  the next tram stopped and i found myself inside the car.  mp4 comes alive with music and reo speedwagon croons slowly.  “and we climb, and at the top we’d fly… let the world know below us that we are lost in time…”

i smiled…

gateway

i called up jenny gump just as i stepped out to ask for directions to volare.  it’s been a very long time since i was in the cubao area.  i had avoided going there because there’s just too many people in the area.   also, it wasn’t the cubao i remembered when i used to live in the nearby area, along project 4.  for me, gateway is a zoo.

following jenny’s directions, i found my way in the mall just before araneta coliseum.  i saw a concierge and asked for directions again to volare.  i thanked her and walked inside rustan’s department store.  i wanted to find something to give nharleen.  it was her birthday, after all.  and i am excited to see her again after almost a year, with her being pregnant and all.

i found myself walking in the perfume store.  courteous sales people greeted me, enticing me to try on some of the new scents.  i smiled at them and politely declined.  then i got to the men’s perfume section.  i stopped by in front of the polo section.  i breathed in.  hmmm… a thought.  dismiss the thought.  i heard a slight movement of excitement behind me.  some people checking out davidoff.  i remembered i needed to buy myself new davidoff cool waters lotion.  but that can wait.  i’m already late for the lunch with the yayas.  i went upstairs, looked around and could not find anything for the pregnant woman.

volare

following the concierge’s direction, i went downstairs to find volare restaurant.  to my surprise, it advertised italian food.  hard not to spot a big bump protruding even as i was walking in.  nharleen was already there, talking to the food service attendant (aka waitress) about her order.  nharleen saw me and got up to give me a kiss.  she looked like a very plump but really beautiful expecting mother.  i absolutely adored her in her purple blouse and very easy white capri pants.  her hair was like katie holmes.  she looked like the school teacher version of katie holmes with her dark-rimmed glasses on.  and she didn’t care.  she looked fabulous!

we started chatting and i ordered bottomless iced tea.  i asked her about the baby and papa a.  she told me about how she accidentally found out she was pregnant, about her wonderful ob-gyne, Dr. Brion, about Ashlee.  Ashlee was calling her already as “baby brother.”  my infanticipating friend was radiant.

about ten minutes later, jenny gump walks in, all hot from the humid weather.  her hair wove down in waves about her.  she plopped herself down in relief.  i signalled to the food attendant and ordered iced tea for jenny gump.  nharleen started giving out her presents.  beautifully crafted wooden chopping boards from ifugao.  sturdy.  heavy. i was already imagining the kind of food i was going to chop down with it and all the juices flowing in with the juice from the wood.  it would be a good weapon against domestic violence too, i thought.

jen sexon walks in, all in yellow.  and like gump, she’s all hot and flustered from the humidity.  summer is really making its presence felt in manila this early.  and i thought, hmmm… not even spring yet in the northern countries.

pizza and pasta and the company of good friends

the four of us launched into discussions of babies and girlie stuff.  the mood was very light and relaxed.  everyone was so excited about the coming baby and the beautiful mom.  gump asked me about brianne.  jen s announced who will be late.  we asked about marlyn and we were told that marlyn is coming over for the lunch next week.  immediately, i did a double take.  say what?  jen s laughed.  marlyn got confused with the dates or something like that. 

and then a discussion about being rural rich but urban poor.  i had to laugh about that.  what a politically correct term to use.  i could sense an affinity with the term.  i am one.  had been ever since i started college.  actually, i realized i was that only when i got into college.  hmmm… actually, gump and nharleen echoed my thoughts out loud, all of us in the table are rural rich and urban poor in college.  now, that is a really warming thought. 

soon enough, a marlyn in red polo shirt walked in.  jen s and gump ordered another round of pizza.  nharls and i were happy to finish off the salmon pizza and the pasta with anchovies.  don’t ask me what their names are.  didn’t even glance at the menu except when i went looking for dessert.

in a few minutes, cathy sauntered in.  she looked like cathy.  she was dressed as casually as we are.  i remarked in amazement at how easy and relaxed we all looked.  like we were again back in our UP days.  and a trip down memory lane about wendy’s days ensued.

gaynor walks in.  she looks so fresh, with her hair all layered down unlike the straight one she favored just last christmas.  and the yayas were complete again.

kisses flew all over the place.  the passing out of gifts continued and i felt ashamed for not finding one.  but the yayas being the yayas, we launched into a very relaxed conversation about the baby again and the coming wedding.

cathy

it was time to talk about cathy’s wedding plans.  everyone asked if she has the date and the venue set already.  cathy remarked that she and farlett had already worked this out.  she said there was no fuss needed because the tagaytay thing will not really be a wedding but just a reception party for the bride and the groom.  everybody started talking excitedly but cathy held it off.  the wedding was gonna take place on a friday anyway in front of a judge.  no big deal.

marls asked about her wedding dress and motiff.  cathy said she was thinking about gothic.  and gump and i laughed.  typical of cathy.  i protested.  gothic is okay but please don’t turn it into a black and white thing.  plans were discussed at length, in between very relaxed laughters and giggles and excited flurries.

talks about shinji and some guys on a “do not resuscitate” status followed.  and i was really having a very good time.  must be the third glass of iced tea i was having and the company of gorgeous women.  not that they were all prepped up for glam.  these women in front of me, they don’t wear make up.  they were just ordinary people out on a quite humid day for lunch with friends.  and everyone was shining out.

the subtle looks behind me

i looked around for something sweet we can eat.  gaynor was buying coffee after and i wanted to buy the dessert for everyone to go with it.  alas, a caucasian guy walks in and orders dessert.  he talks to the food attendant and takes the table beside us.

i couldn’t see him but i can sense the way gump subtly touched up her hair in place and jen s preened between her eyelashes.  i smiled a little… hormones haven’t changed.  but nobody said anything.

starbucks

we transferred next door for coffee.  it was already 2pm.  with a lot of fuss, we managed to order coffee for “ever”.  of course, we got the dessert.  happy chatter continued.  i was content to sit back and look at the yayas. they noticed my seeming silence and remarked on it.  i said i was soaking everything in.  jen s asked if i would do the synopsis.  i said i might.  it’s been a long time since i really wrote something about the yayas and jen s has been taking her cudgels against me for it.  i smiled.  yes, everything can be soaked in… and more…

american quilt

the bond between the yayas started even before sandra bullock’s movie, the divine secrets of the yaya sisterhood, hit the theaters.  it started way back in college, but was solidified only when we had our pictures taken together during the graduation.  that was when we really realized we were good friends.

the bond was reinforced by a lot of movies and sundae’s at wendy’s seen and taken together.  including winona ryder’s movie, how to make an american quilt.

gaynor is our natural leader.  this is something we really haven’t voiced out but she is, in more ways than one.  as i sat there, with the yayas and my thoughts, i remembered one very important lesson passed on by gaynor to me at a time i was facing a very tough decision.  choose a man who will stand up for you.  what i learned on my own is that there can be more than one man who may be more than willing to stand up for you.  it all depends on the amount of time you both have in your hands.

cathy is the sensible intellectual, albeit eccentric most of the time.  and the best thing about her is that she doesn’t care.  you just take her for it and love her all the more for it.  cathy had always been my rational perspective whenever i need one, especially when i found myself on the verge of a midlife crisis a year ago.

marlyn is our sensible planner.  the charming one.  the one with the highest level of details when it comes to planning everything out with her life.  i sat across her during lunch.  and i could tell how much fight had gone off her but she’s still there, hanging tough.  probably more content with her life with papa d around.

if i would be asked to describe her, i’d say jen s is my own barbara streisand.  she is the funny girl who needs to see the movie, the mirror has two faces.  in that movie, barbara plays the supportive sister/daughter.  dig in the movie, jen, and see what i mean.  i know you will be reading this.  go through that scene where she has a confrontation with her mother.  i’ve told you about this a dozen times already.  dig in.  you’ll see there’s more of you than you see, my friend.

nharls is my bestfriend after azel.  she picked me up actually when i got lost in college.  and she had been that critical side of myself that never holds back.  i’m always afraid of her sharp tongue.  but nharls is the softest person i know.  and she is better than i am at understanding women’s issues.  and she is better than i am at fighting for women’s issues.  she is my drew barrymore in that movie, ever after.

that leaves the presently at a loss girl, jenny gump.  every witty, ever posh.  and she has a phd to boot.  she was my room mate in ipil and she experienced her first christmas with my family after college.  gump is, and will always be, that level-headed girl among the yayas when it comes to love and relationships.

in the american quilt, there was a question posted by winona ryder’s character.  “if you were to choose between spending your whole life between a friend and the one you love, who would you choose?”

women’s lives have been intertwined by the many activities and experiences they go through together.  they tell their stories in various ways.

my friends, the yayas of PA96, we tell our stories in these get togethers we’ve been having for more than a decade already.  a lot of them i avoided.  some, they missed.  still, we were there together.

we went through so much of our pains together…

and we had chopping boards and endless gifts to prove it.

until the wedding and the arian party, yayas…

Add comment March 1, 2009